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An Affair to Dismember
To my dearest friends, both living and dead.

It is with goulish pleasure that I announce my engagement to Lizzie Bordeaux, the mistress of the Motel California. I will be throwing a weekend bash for Halloween at my castle, which will culminate in an engagement party the likes of which has never been seen in Transylvania. No doubt most of you already know each other, as we travel in the same circles and haunt the same crypts. I promise food, fun and terror for all. I've even put in a special order for a dark and stormy night. So cancel whatever other plans you might have because I will not take "no" for an answer. I guarantee it will be a night to die for!


Nivile Aster-Night
THE MUMMY OF KING ALDRINKTOTAT Three thousand years in a tomb can really cramp your style - so when he was uncovered 20 years ago, the Mummy left Egypt and has never gone back. Since then he has stalked the glob, painting the world red in search of a good time. Madness, mayhem and wanton destruction often follow in his wake because, hey, this bag of bones knows how to party. Always well-dressed in designer linen strips, the Mummy is welcome in hotspots everywhere. He is also a celebrated author - his self-help book Life Begins at 3,000 was on the best seller list for years. True, he has incredibly dry skin, but the babes don't seem to mind that he's a little bit flaky.
Costume Suggestion: Use toilet paper or fabric strips wrapped around your entire body. Accessorize with Egyptian jewelry.
BALIHI, THE ROGERSANDHAMMERSTEIN MONSTER Constructed from body parts of various and sundry individuals, Balihi is a little bit country and a little bit rock-and-roll - but mostly musical theater. Within weeks of his reanimation, he was accepted to Julliard, received a degree in decomposition, and has been known to terrorize hapless villagers with smarmy show tunes until their brains explode. His works include "Graveside Story," "Eternally Dammed Yankees," and "Cats." Balihi is quite the ladies-monster; women adore his stylish, diamond-stud neck bolts and level head. While many women have tried to nail him down in marriage, he always broke loose before vows were ever exchanged.
Costume Suggestion: Frankenstein mask (For the truly daring) Accessorize with ballet leotard and tutu.
ASTHMADEUS, THE PRINCE OF DIMNESS The younger brother of The Prince of Darkness was never cut out for life in Heck. For one thing, his chronic respiratory condition simply can't handle the heat, and secondly, he's deathly afraid of the dark. In fact, he's rumored to sleep with a nightlight in his cavern - hence he has been dubbed "The Prince of Dimness." Of course, that's not the only reason for the title. The junior prince has never been accused of being the brightest flame in purgatory - but what he lacks in brains, he makes up for in boyish good looks. Well versed in all forms of decadence, the Prince spends his life party-hopping the world in his silver Rolls Royce (his brother got the gold one). Often seen with his close friend and confidant, Balihi, the two have been known to cruise the crypts for undead babes.
Costume Suggestion: Devil costume. Accessorize with asthma inhaler and nightlight.
HANNIBAL SCHECTER Hannibal Schecter is the world's only documented kosher cannibal. It all began several years ago after he heard that unforgettable lyric by Balihi, "Some enchanted evening you may eat a stranger." Hannibal did precisely that and hasn't stopped since. Following the strict dietary laws of his faith has always been a challenge for the hypnotically charming maneater - especially because most of the people who deserve to be eaten are either swine or bottom feeders and therefore off limits. Still, he's made do, and has risen to the occasion in high style. Always dressed at the height of classic fashion, Hannibal can often been seen escorting tasty beauties to funerals, wakes, and other society functions. Not surprisingly, those beauties are rarely heard from again.
Costume Suggestion: Suite and tie.
GLUMDA, THE WICKED WITCH OF DEPRESSED Glumbda comes from the armpit of OZ; a place far from the glamour of the Emerald City. In her mountainside village of DePressed, the scarecrows won't dance, the loins won't sing, and even the munchkins are in therapy. Always jealous of the other more prosperous enchantresses, the Witch spends much of her days casting spells of mischief to pass the time. She rarely leaves her remote fortress, except to engage in her hobby of mile-high acrobatics on her broom. Feared and respected, Glumda is a statusque woman with a piercing gaze, pale green complexion, and fingernails that could gut a grouper with a single thrust.
Costume Suggestion: Long, flowing black cloak or dress. Accessorize with pointed hat, green face, long fingernails and broom.
ANGELA DEATH, DDS It is believed that early man's leading cause of death was dental trouble, and Dr. Angela Deth wants to bring back the good old days. This beautiful dentist is famous for putting her patients under - six feet under, that is. The vivacious Dr. Deth earned the admiration of ghoulkind when she perfected the Intergenerational Root Canal. Although she was given the electric chair several years ago, she was mysteriously saved at the last instant by a blackout and escaped before the power came back on. Angela's favorite patient is the Mummy of King Aldrinktothat, whose 3,000-year-old teeth are a psychotic dentist's dream.
Costume Suggestion: Dentist's coat with a hand-held drill.
ARETHA GARLIQUE The effervescent Aretha Garlique is renowned the world over as the flamboyant clairvoyant, able to speak to departed souls over the ethernet. She has done seances for royalty and heads of state and has aided the FBI and Scotland Yard in tracking down murderers by contacting the dead themselves to get eyewitness accounts. She's channeled hundreds of man from Elvis to Alexander the Great, who, after having him, turned out not to be so great after all. Because of her supernatural powers, she is feared and hated by the undead, which is why she always wears garlic around her neck. The proper way to address her is madame Garlique.
Costume Suggestion: A flowing skirt or dress in purples, greens and blues. Accessorize with a scarf around the head and use a bowling ball to forecast the future. Tarot cards would also serve as a fun prop for the party.
LIZZIE BORDEAUX This gothic and enigmatic woman hals from the south of France. Rumors that she hacked her parents apart with an ax as a child are all unsubstantiated. Besides the murders happened while her parents were on vacation in Texas and the weapon was a chainsaw. Regardless, Lizzie has had to fend for herself since her youth and has learned the cutthroat ways of business. A sharp and incisive woman, and never one to mince words, she's carved out a slice of the Transylvanian dream. She's the respected owner of the Motel California, on of Deadbolts's finer inns and is engaged to your party host Neville Aster-Night
Costume Suggestion: Black clothing and heavy eye makeup. Wear a large "diamond" engagement ring and a dress suitable for "your" engagement party.

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